Objects in the Rearview
by Ultrawoman
Summary: Parker isn't sure what to think when she realises her heart just isn't in her relationship with Hardison. She turns to Eliot for advice, and that only seems to make things more complicated! E/P
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: After the serious AU and angsty tragedy of my last E/P fic, I think we all need something closer to canon and a little more fun, yes? Well, I sure do anyhow! lol This was originally going to be a one-shot, then I plotted it out to the end of Season 4 but didn't have time to write it at the time. Now I do, so here goes. As always, reviews would be very much appreciated!**

_**(Disclaimer: All recognisable characters belong to John Rogers, Chris Downey, Dean Devlin, TNT, and other folks that aren't me)**_

Chapter 1

Eliot was rarely startled. If it ever happened, it tended to be Parker who managed to pull off such a feat, sometimes deliberately and sometimes not so much. The thief was about to prove her ability all over again today, Eliot realised, when he stepped out of the shower. He turned around just in time to see Parker come scurrying in through the door like a frightened mouse.

"Parker! What the hell are you doin'?" he growled crossly, checking the towel across his hips was securely fastened there.

"I need to talk to you," she explained, re-locking the door and turning to put her back against it. "It's been three days and I _really_ need to talk to you," she repeated desperately.

Eliot might've felt bad for her and asked what was wrong except he was much more focused on the fact he was all but naked and Parker just ambushed him. This was so far beyond normal and reasonable behaviour. It was also the very last time he decided to shower at the team apartment instead of going straight home!  
"What's been three days?" he asked Parker out of curiousity that wouldn't quit. "And you've seen me every day on this damn job!"  
"We needed to be alone!" she told him as if he were just that dumb. "We never are anymore."  
"Why would we need to be?" Eliot wondered aloud, clearly frustrated as he flipped his wet hair off his face when it fell in his eyes. "And you picked the bathroom as a good spot for a conversation? I was in the shower, Parker!"

She looked across at him with eyes that switched from wide and innocent to admiring in a heartbeat. It actually seemed as if she genuinely hadn't noticed he was barely dressed and dripping water all over the place until Eliot pointed it out to her. That was mildly insulting, he thought, but on the whole probably a good thing. A moment later Parker shook her head free of any unbidden dirty thoughts and answered his question.  
"You get mad when I show up at your place," she said in all innocence apparently - Eliot couldn't believe it.  
"I get mad because you break in!" he told her, waving his arms in some gesture of frustration, before realising at least one hand should probably stay near the towel, just in case.

"We're getting off topic," Parker waved her hands as if to clear the air of any other subjects. "This is more important. I need to know how to dump a person without making them cry."

Eliot took a moment to guage her expression, which appeared to be perfectly serious. Even for Parker, this was a nutty question to be asking, and he told her just that a second later.  
"You're crazy," he said definitely, reaching for her arm so he could usher her out of the bathroom.

Parker easily evaded him and continued on.

"I'm serious, Eliot!" she told him, getting in his face. "I mean, you date a lot of women and then you break up with them. They never seem heartbroken. In fact, we see them months later and they're smiling and pretty much wanting to have sex with you again!" she told him what he already knew and Eliot tried his best not to smirk since now clearly wasn't the time to be smug. "I need to know how that works."

He met Parker's eyes then, planning to say he was not having this conversation with her, especially not here and now in the bathroom. Unfortunately, in her gaze he saw pain and panic. Hell, he saw almost the exact same expression Hardison had been wearing three days ago when he was worried Parker might not want to be with him anymore. A knot tied itself up in Eliot's stomach and he hated it.  
"Did something happen?" he asked the little blonde before him. "With Hardison?"  
"No. Well, yes," Parker frowned some. "Not _with_ Hardison but, _near_ Hardison?" she tried to explain. "About him, I guess. I hate that this got so complicated!"

She turned away, practically pacing the tiny space between the two walls in front of Eliot. If a person could explode from frustration she probably would right now, and Eliot felt compelled to help her. Poor Parker, she did not get relationships or how to deal with people at all. She was better now than in the beginning, but still, this whole thing between her and Hardison was a minefield. Eliot didn't want to be crossing it, but they were his friends, as close as family to him even. He couldn't leave his bro hanging in the wind, and he certainly couldn't stand here and watch Parker suffer, that would be as impossible as moving mountains or taking flight.

"Hey, slow down, breathe," he encouraged her, catching her by the shoulders on her next pass and turning her towards him. "From the top, Parker. What is the real problem here?"  
Taking a deep breath, as instructed, Parker blew it out slowly and then explained herself from the beginning.

"That night we went out, me and Peggy, plus Sophie and Tara. Well, we met that guy, Mattingly, and he... I think he liked me," she said with the strangest look on her face like she never thought it possible for a man to do that. "I mean, maybe he just liked that I was Parker and I have this thief reputation thing, I don't know, but that's not even the point," she breathed deep again. "It was fun with him. It was fun pulling a con with a person that gets the things I get," she admitted, looking up to meet Eliot's eyes and soft smile.  
"Parker, there's nothing wrong with that," he promised her.  
"You don't understand!" she shook her head in response, going so far as to pull out from his grip and move away as far as the confines of the small bathroom would let her. "It was fun like it is with you. He reminded me of you! I mean you're tougher and hotter, probably even smarter, but he was like action guy, and I'm action girl, and Hardison... he wants to go see fighting robots, and take me to dinner, when I'd rather be stealing bags of cash and diffusing bombs," she explained, waving her arms like some psychotic windmill. "What I'm saying is, we're different. We're _too_ different, and Sophie says opposites attract but me and Hardison... we're not opposite because we do have stuff in common, I just think maybe not enough."

Eliot had no idea what he was supposed to say to all of that, not least because his mind was pretty much stuck on the part where Craig Mattingly had reminded Parker of him. She spoke so highly of him in her little crazy-ass rant, about how much she enjoyed pulling cons with him at her side. She didn't miss Hardison on the job she and the girls fell into last week, she missed Eliot. That was wrong, obviously, but flattering at the same time. It was also not the point Parker needed him focused on right now, made clear by the way she looked at him then, hugging herself and looking terrified.

"I'm scared, Eliot," she admitted, if he couldn't already tell. "I'm scared that if I tell Hardison all this, he'll be hurt, and I don't want that."  
Sitting down carefully on the edge of the tub, just because she had totally knocked the wind out of his sails with her confessions, Eliot was dumb-struck for a full minute. Working past the part where Parker just told him he was hot, smart, and the best partner in people-helping crime she could think of, he tried to concentrate on what she was actually asking for here. She needed advice and he was going to have to give it, though Eliot hadn't anymore clue where to begin that she did really.

"Parker, there's no easy way to break up with someone," he told her with a shake of his head, "but if you're not happy, sweetheart, then you just have to do it."  
She sighed too heavily and came to sit down beside him, bumping his shoulder as she did so. Eliot checked the towel was still covering everything and leaned his elbows on his knees.

"Can't you do it?" Parker asked in earnest. "Can't you have one of your man-to-man talks and tell Hardison he doesn't want to date me?"  
"No, Parker," Eliot smirked at her gall, even though the situation was so serious. "I mean, yeah, I _could_, but I'm not going to. This is your relationship, darlin'. You started it and you have to finish it, I mean, you do if you want it to be over."

This was bad and Eliot knew it. Hardison would be heart-broken if Parker ended things with him, but what he was telling her was true enough. Seemed to him it was breaking her heart to stay with the hacker, and that was no better. If she needed things to be done with the two of them, then it had to be. It was the only advice Eliot could give and that was that.

"I still want to be Hardison's friend but... but when I'm on a job with some other guy, I shouldn't be thinking how much fun it is compared to a date with him," said Parker thoughtfully. "Pretty sure I shouldn't be wishing you were there either," she smiled at him then.

Eliot meant to look away but couldn't quite do it.  
"You really wished I was there?" he asked, still a little bowled over and strangely flattered by her insistence that of all men, she would rather have had him at her side than any other, including her boyfriend.  
"Uh-huh," she nodded, looking desolate about it somehow. "That's wrong too, isn't it?"  
"It's not wrong, it's just..." Eliot floundered for a proper answer and ultimately gave up as he pushed his unruly wet hair back one more time. "You just have to talk to Hardison."  
"I know," Parker agreed, "but what do I say?"

"The truth?" the hitter suggested, adjusting his towel as he stood up, suddenly all too aware of how close they'd been sitting and his own state of undress again. "That you like him but just not the way he likes you. That you're sorry it can't work out, and then there's the killer line," he smiled sadly, "that you still wanna be friends."

Parker got to her feet too and looked between Eliot and the door.  
"And he'll be okay with that?"  
"No, probably not," he told her honestly as he always told her everything. "He loves you, Parker. It's gonna hurt hearin' you can't feel the same way, but if it's the truth then it's gotta be said, for both your sakes."

Parker nodded and scuffed her sneakers against the tile.  
"I know, you're right. You're always right," she rolled her eyes as a burst of strangled laughter escaped her lips.  
"Maybe not always," he replied too seriously, eyes on his own bare feet.

His gaze stayed off her even as Parker moved to leave, thanking him in a too quiet tone as she reached the door. Eliot had his back to the exit and was thinking about fixing his hair, getting dried off and dressed, when he realised Parker hadn't quite left yet. In a flurry of limbs she came rushing back, suddenly in front of him again. Eliot didn't get a chance to ask what she was doing when suddenly her lips were on his in a serious kiss. It was over as fast as it had begun, but the damage was already done. This was no peck on the cheek, no quick 'thank you' kiss, that was for damn sure.  
"For the record, when you're not around, I always wish you were there," said Parker fast, and then she was gone, literally running out of the room, the door slamming shut in her wake.  
Eliot turned a full circle in the now empty bathroom then shook his head. That woman was crazy and he hadn't a clue what really just happened here. Still, he'd wonder on it for at least the rest of today if not longer, the hitter already knew that much. Somehow he just knew the fall-out from what might've been a simple conversation was going to be messy as all hell, and he wasn't looking forward to it one little bit.

_To Be Continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, you reader types really love this story already, huh? I so appreciate the feedback so thanks muchly! :)**

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 2

Eliot was angry. That wasn't really a new emotion for him, since anything and everything had the ability to make him mad at the drop of a hat. This was different, this was something he couldn't explain to the majority of his team without making matters worse. The problem was Parker.

The thief had been a loose cannon from the very first job, but over the years Eliot had learnt to cope with her special brand of crazy. She went off on tangents, came out with the oddest non-sequitars, and didn't understand things that every grown person ought to. At the same time, she could be a real sweetheart. She loved this team, even if she was a little sketchy on how best to show it sometimes and probably never would say the words any more than Eliot would himself. Parker was like no other woman he ever met, and she sure could wind him up faster than any other, that was for damn sure.

It was four days now since she came busting into the bathroom just when he climbed out of the shower. She wanted dating advice, or rather she wanted dumping advice. That wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't dating Hardison right now.

Maybe dating was too strong a word. They'd gone out together, Eliot knew, but not in any real romantic way. It seemed to the hitter that they did the same kind of things alone together as they did with the team. He never really saw them be affectionate with each other like people in a relationship ought to be. No hand-holding, kissing, or specific looks. They high-fived and such after a job well done, just the same as always, just the same as Eliot and Hardison might. It was friendly, but that was all.

Watching them made him realise how vague their romance really was. There was no way in hell Eliot was going to ask what they did and did not do, because that was none of his business. It had been bad enough when Hardison tried to ask him what he needed to do better in his relationship with Parker. Of course, recalling that conversation made it even more clear to the hitter why this particular pairing was falling apart.

Hardison wanted Parker from the start, but now that he had her, he hadn't clue how to handle a woman like that. Eliot knew he could do it himself, though just as soon as the thought passed through his head he dismissed it. It had been the same from the beginning, whenever an errant thought of Parker, or even Sophie, in any kind of sexual or romantic way entered his mind he threw it right out again. You didn't get mixed up with chicks you worked with like that, no way. It made things too complicated, Nate and Sophie proved that, and now it seemed Parker and Hardison would act as example number two.

They'd taken a few days off, and today the team had reconvened to debrief from the previous job and look at possible new ones. Eliot had assumed there would be trouble given how Parker had planned to dump poor Hardison. He got a surprise when the hacker was grinning the moment he walked in the door. Eliot looked for evidence of anything being wrong and found none. In fact Hardison was acting just the same as ever towards Parker, and what was worse was she was letting him. Hardison didn't even notice the little thief squirm or look guilty when he so much as touched her, or when he told her she looked nice today.

This was how Eliot came to be so angry. It just wasn't right to leave a guy, or a girl for that matter, dangling on a string when you know you're through with them. He had told Parker as much when she asked him. He told her that for both their sakes, for herself and for Hardison, she had to tell him the truth. Yeah, it was going to be nasty, Hardison would be upset, and the team would be in turmoil for a while, but the truth had to come out eventually. Quick and clean like ripping off a band aid, that was how it needed to be done. Instead Parker was letting this thing fester and drag on. It made him very mad.

Hardison deserved better. He was a good guy, annoying as hell sometimes, but a good person underneath it all. He loved Parker, or so he said. Eliot didn't doubt it, but then there was a mutual kind of love amongst the whole team these days. They were family in some non-descript decidedly non-blood way, but they were. Hardison thought he was in love with Parker and Eliot never argued, even if he wasn't so sure that love went both ways or was as strong as his bro thought. That was what Hardison was to Eliot, the annoying kid brother he never had. He didn't want to see him hurt, and Parker dragging this out was only going to make the pain worse. Hardison would ask how long she knew things weren't working, she'd tell her tale about the job with Mattingly, and he'd feel so stupid, so much more hurt than he needed to be.

Even so, Eliot was not going to meddle. He wasn't going to tell Hardison what Parker had told him, no way. It wasn't his place, and he wasn't Sophie who would happily dole out dating advice and poke her nose into others business. Sure, she did it in an attempt to help, but that didn't make it any better really. Eliot wasn't that person before and he wasn't about to start. However, he was going to have words with Parker if this went on too much longer.

Eliot was in the kitchen making lunch. He overheard Hardison as he came over to the table and sat down by Parker as she continued on sketching.

"So, I been thinkin'," the hacker began. "Before we get too deep on another job, maybe we could use those passes I got for the exhibition at..."

"No, thanks," said Parker abruptly before her so-called boyfriend even finished his sentence. "I mean, um, I'm busy... with stuff... and things," she rambled, closing up her sketch book and bolting. "Sorry!" she called over her shoulder before slamming into the next room.

Eliot winced as the door banged shut, but more so he was feeling Hardison's pain. The guy did not deserve this, no way, no how. He needed to talk with Parker and it needed to be now before things got even more out of hand. Checking on the food, Eliot knew he had a few more minutes before the chicken had to come out of the oven, so he could walk a way for a short while. He wiped his hands and then moved across the room, feigning left where the bathroom was but then changing direction at the last to follow Parker to the right.

She was sat by the window staring out when he stepped into the room, resisting the temptation to slam the door and startle her. It would only attract the attention of the others and she probably knew he was there already, she always did. She proved it when she spoke.

"I hate this!"

"Yeah? Well, you should," Eliot replied without a shred of sympathy.

She turned wide eyes on him only to see him take his usual stance of angry expression and folded arms. Parker knew he wasn't happy with her right now, but she couldn't help that. She wasn't happy either.

"Parker, you can't treat people like that," he said definitely, pointing back the way they had come. "Hardison doesn't deserve this crap,"

"You don't think I know that?" she yelled back, catching herself then as she realised she would be overheard and questions would doubtless be asked. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, Eliot," she said more reasonably. "I never had a boyfriend before, I never even really dated, like at all," she explained, looking so sad, it was enough to calm his anger some.

Eliot wasn't quite the monster his reputation made him seem. He cared for people, cared for this team more than was good for him most of the time. Parker was not treating Hardison right and he needed to tell her, yet she seemed to already know. She was hurting herself as much as the hacker. Eliot really didn't have any good choices here, he realised, putting a hand to his head as if it was starting to ache.

"Parker, we talked about this," he sighed, coming further into the room. "Yeah, it's hard breaking up with a person, even when you've had practice, believe me," he told her sagely. "But the fact is not telling him is worse. Hardison is acting like everything is fine and then you're snapping his head off. That's not fair."

"I know," she replied sadly, looking down at her own feet. "It's just... I want everything to be how it was before, when we all got along, and nobody was dating anybody," she sighed, blowing her bangs off her forehead a moment later and staring straight at Eliot. "It made things complicated."

"Always does, sweetheart," said Eliot with a shake of head, feeling more sorry for her than he meant to right now. "Dragging it out though? That makes it worse, and it makes you the kind of person... well, I thought you were better than that, Parker."

Very few things made Parker cry her whole life. Hearing Eliot say those words, seeing him look at her like that then turn and walk away, it hurt like crazy. He was disappointed in her and Parker couldn't stand that.

"Eliot!" she called behind him before he managed to open the door. "I'm sorry," she said when he looked back at her.

"I'm not the one you owe an apology to, Parker," he reminded her, and then he was gone.

* * *

Timing was important. Parker knew that better than anyone. Mistime a base-jump, a slide under a laser beam, a turn of the dial, and the job went south, everything was lost. She was pretty sure timing was equally important when it came to saying and doing certain things. For instance, you didn't talk about happy things at funerals, or gross things when people were eating food. These things she had learnt, because the team taught her, especially Sophie and Eliot. They had their own ways of educating her. With Sophie it was with significant glances and quiet words. Eliot would scowl and snap that there was something wrong with her, but Parker didn't mind either way. These people cared about her and they were just trying to help in their own very different ways. When Eliot told her she had to be honest with Hardison about their relationship, she knew he was right. He was always right about that kind of thing and she had meant to do as he said, it just turned out to be a lot harder than she thought.

The truth was, Parker cared for Hardison a lot. He was a good friend, and kissing him was okay, and yet being his girlfriend just wasn't working out. When she wasn't around, Hardison said he missed her, though she rarely had the same feeling about him. He wanted to take her places but never anywhere she was interested in going. The gifts he bought her were rarely anything she wanted and yet he seemed to have a list of reasons why she should love them. It just didn't work. Telling him that was a whole other ballgame.

When people got bad news, they cried. Parker didn't want to make Hardison cry, not ever. She never wanted him to go away, and she wanted him to care about her always. If she told him she couldn't be his girlfriend anymore, she wasn't so sure he'd just want to be regular friends after everything. That was what scared her. Archie said she went out and built her own family to fit around her. He was right, but then Parker had allowed herself to get swept up in the excitement of an experience she never had before, her very own relationship and a boyfriend. Getting out of these things without causing damage was so much harder than the getting in had been. So much for always having an exit strategy. This time she failed miserably.

There was a plan in her mind. Parker had thought she could get some alone time with Hardison, tell him it was over, and fix things in the two or three days that followed before a new job began. Surely it couldn't take longer than that for everything to be okay. Unfortunately, the two or three days she thought she would have (which would have been the most ridiculously short post-break-up time to anyone else anyway) was suddenly cut short to all of a few hours.

After her talk with Eliot she returned to the living room just as the hitter was serving lunch. Just as soon as they were all done eating, Nate went down to the bar for a drink and Eliot went to keep him company, book in hand. Sophie went for a soak in the tub, leaving Parker and Hardison alone. This was her opportunity, as if it had all been planned out for her, but no sooner had she manage to apologise for the way she ran off before and open her mouth again to explain more, there was a commotion downstairs. Crashing in the bar was swiftly followed by Eliot rushing up the stairs in search of Sophie because some guy was crying in the bar. Suddenly, they had a new job, right here and right now.

"You okay, Parker?" asked Hardison as she stood staring dumbly at the wall a moment.

"What? Me? Yeah, fine," she waved away his concern.

Now was not a good time for this conversation she'd been planning. It would have to wait until after this job was done. Even Eliot would see her point on that one.

Seemed Parker was still dating Hardison for the time being, whether she liked it or not.

_To Be Continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Don't we just feel sorry for everybody right now? It'll get better soon... kinda, maybe... On to The Lonely Hearts Job! lol**

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 3

Parker was getting annoyed with Hardison. She didn't want to, because honestly none of this was his fault. Actually, that wasn't quite true, because a little bit of it was definitely his fault. He made her think that being in a relationship with him was a good idea, being a girlfriend and everything. Now Parker realised he had been wrong. They'd both been very wrong in thinking this could work out at all. It wasn't working and she wanted out, but now they were back in the middle of a job and it would be very bad timing for a break up. She had to wait until they were done, until they caught the spider woman at this stupid bachelor auction and made the rich man client go away happy.

The little thief squirmed in her pink dress. She was uncomfortable being so out in the open and wearing such a colour, it just wasn't her. Hardison said she looked gorgeous and that only made it worse. Eliot wouldn't even look at her. If Parker was annoyed with this situation then her hitter friend was all but hopping mad. In turn, that made Parker even more frustated. It was a vicious circle of anger that wasn't doing anyone any good. It would be a really good thing when this job was over, that was for sure.

"Parker, concentrate," said Sophie through her earbud then. "The auction is starting."

"Right, auction," she muttered, stopping in her attempts to manoeuvre her clothing - she hated these strapless bra things.

The men on stage were now being auctioned to the highest bidder. Actually it was just a date with each man, but Parker couldn't help but think it was a little too much like a cattle market. All she had to do was wait until the end when Hardison and Eliot came up for auction, and then wave her hand a lot to bid up the price. Sophie would do the same, and their guys were guaranteed to go to the richest and/or most desperate women present. It made sense and should help them track down their client's black widow of a wife. Of course, there was a side bet going on, which Parker, Sophie, and Nate all heard through their earbuds. A steak dinner was riding on this, that's what Hardison suggested, and Eliot had easily agreed.

Parker narrowed her eyes. If Hardison was so dedicated to her, why would he want to make these rich skanky women bid so high on him? Sometimes his head got too big and that made her mad too. Maybe she was just trying to find fault to give herself more excuses about dumping him, but that thought didn't stick in her head very much. She was determined to be mad at him right now, and so when Hardison was presented to the crowd, Parker pretended not to notice.

Sophie and Nate were yelling crossly at her, albeit in whispers. It certainly all sounded very angry in her earbud, but Parker was not going to give in. Hardison was playing up to the crowd, not just the one girl bidding most, but all of the women. She knew he was doing it for the con, but that didn't mean she was going to stand for such crap. She looked everywhere but at her boyfriend and refused to bid. It didn't matter, with Sophie's help the amount bid climbed quickly and then she let him go to an Asian girl close to the stage. Next came Eliot's turn.

"What was that all about?" Hardison whispered when his date wasn't paying attention.

"What?" Parker replied easily. "Sophie bid you up, and I'm gonna take Eliot. It'd look weird if we both went crazy for both of you."

They took her reasoning and agreed to it, even if Eliot was looking sceptical when she glanced his way. He knew what was up, and she knew that he did. Parker never did wonder why he was the one person she didn't mind talking to about things. She did share with Sophie, especially when she needed advice in the beginning. These days the grifter hadn't been as approachable to Parker. She was always so busy with Nate, and her own problems with him seemed to leak out into conversation whenever Parker asked for advice. That just made the thief uncomfortable. Kind of felt like your parents talking about their love life - too weird! So she turned to Eliot, and though he was brutally honest sometimes, he could also be really sweet. It didn't hurt that he was hot as hell, and knew how to cook and bake all her favourite things. Yeah, she liked Eliot a lot, she trusted him like she trusted no-one else, and when he smiled like he was right now she totally understood why every woman he met practically fell at his feet.

Parker hadn't really noticed her hand was in the air at first. The frantic whispering in her ear dragged her from her thoughts and suddenly the auctioneer's voice seemed to appear out of nowhere. She just bid ten thousand dollars on Eliot and the other girl that wanted him was looking really pissed. They couldn't afford to have a potential mark jeopardised and Nate was telling her in no uncertain terms to keep her hand down now!

She obeyed, looked towards the auctioneer and forced a smile as she shook her head no. Parker wasn't going to bid anymore, not even when Eliot's eyes landed on her in that intense way, sending a shudder through her body that she didn't understand but kind of liked anyway. They were in the middle of a con and she couldn't afford for her mind to wander. She still blamed Hardison for that. If she hadn't agreed to be his girlfriend things never would've gotten out of hand like this.

Parker turned away, concentrated on the job at hand. Sophie was already noticing strange things happening and reporting them directly into everyone's ear. The girls were klutzes, tripping on thin air so that the guys would catch them. They stared into their eyes, 'soul-gazing' as Sophie called it. There wasn't just one mark, there were a whole room full, and Parker was not happy to hear it. Not only did that make a job she wanted over quickly like ten times more complex, it also meant two of these hoes were playing the guys, _her_ guys. She was not happy about any of this.

It was a nice surprise when within ten minutes, Nate was giving her an excuse to let out some of her frustration.

"Pick a fight with the girl over your man, Parker," he said in her ear.

The grin on the thief's face was manic at best, and Sophie noticed too late. What would surprise everyone was how instead of walking right on up to Hardison's girl and yelling abuse, she stalked across the room to take down Eliot's date - literally. Sophie winced when Parker's fist impacted with the other blonde's face, knocking her almost completely off her high heels.

Nate had said 'pick a fight', completely the wrong words to use regardless of which mark Parker chose to go after. He had meant argument, verbal and non-arrestable, not an actual punch-up, but it was too late. Eliot might actually have been proud of the way Parker handled herself if he wasn't so confused and angry at her right now. She had good form because he had taught her well, and of all things, Parker was a good student - she listened and she did as she was told, eventually. Now she was not doing as he was asking or telling her, and it left him with no choice but to physically lift her off the other chick, scolding her as he did so.

"Enough, Parker! That is for defence, not attack," he told her, a harsh whisper in her ear.

Parker didn't care. The shock on the other girl's face was so funny, and the bruise she was going to get was funnier still. Of course, now that the adrenaline slowed to a dull roar, Parker could feel her own pain. Damn it, there was a good chance that bitch had knocked her tooth out or something - it really hurt!

* * *

Eliot didn't want to care that Parker was hurt. She deserved a little hurt right now for what she was putting Hardison through, and yet he didn't quite have it in him to be so cruel. All those people that knew Eliot Spencer's reputation as such a tough guy, they had no idea how much his heart melted sometimes, like right now looking at Parker sitting alone on the balcony.

She was like a lost little girl in this moment, except for the icepack held to her jaw that proved she could hold her own in a fight. The other woman got in one lucky punch was all. Parker had been doing pretty well other than that, almost too well, but then she did have a great self-defence teacher. She ought to have stuck to using those moves to defend herself too, but when Nate said 'pick a fight' she took him too literally. He expected a verbal argument and got a brawl. Served the guy right for not beings specific with the most literal member of their crew.

Nate and Sophie had since gone out, and Hardison was stuck to his computer like glue. He said he was running checks and keeping an eye on things. Eliot was pretty sure he was just avoiding Parker after her behaviour at the auction. If she fought with anyone it ought to be the woman that bid on her boyfriend, not on Eliot. The hacker didn't understand and when he asked Parker to explain, she just clammed up and ran. Those two were going to become a problem before long, and it wasn't really one Eliot could help them solve. Still, that didn't mean he wasn't going to try with the one half of the couple he could have an honest conversation with right now.

"You okay?" he asked Parker as he ventured outside and sat down beside her.

"Uh-huh," she nodded carefully, ice still held to her lip.

It was sweet of him to care. She knew how mad he was at her for messing Hardison around and yet just as soon as they'd got back to the hotel he took a look at her lip and chin, fetched her an ice pack and told her to keep it on there for as long as the ice lasted. Now he was even checking up on her to see how she was doing. She probably didn't deserve it, but she appreciated it anyway. Eliot was always nice to her when she got hurt or upset. Parker wasn't sure if he was like that with every member of the team and she just hadn't noticed, or if their relationship was actually different. It made her think of that one time inside a mountain a few months back and she frowned.

"You sure you're okay?" he checked when he noticed her expression, head tilted to one side as he observed her.

"Um, yeah," Parker shook of her thoughts and forced a smile. "I mean, my lip is okay, more or less," she confirmed. "I'll just be glad when this job is over."

Eliot nodded his agreement to that one. It wasn't the job that was really the problem but what it represented. It was a road-block to Parker telling Hardison the truth and figuring out how they all moved forward. Secrets and lies were no good amongst friends and family, such as the team were. It got messy and dangerous, as already demonstrated, and good people got hurt way more than they needed to.

"Y'know, just as soon as we get back to Boston..."

"I know," she interrupted crossly, though none of this was Eliot's fault. "I know I have to tell Hardison the truth, and I want to... but at the same time, I don't. It's too confusing," she admitted, tossing her ice pack aside and briefly putting her face in her hands.

Eliot half-considered putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, but changed his mind at the last second and pushed his own hair back off his face.

"I'm not gonna ask why you slugged my date and not Hardison's at the auction," he said, looking out at the view rather than at her.

"She was more annoying," Parker shrugged, even though the question had not even been posed. "Hardison was more annoying too. He got all fat-headed, making that bet with you about who would get more bids," she grumbled and then smiled out of nowhere as she looked sideways at Eliot. "I'm glad I fixed it so he owes you the steak dinner," she grinned wickedly.

Eliot tried not smile but failed miserably. That had been a pretty sweet moment.

"Thank you for that," he told her begrudgingly. "Not sure it was the right thing to do though. Hardison's a good guy."

"I know that," she sighed once again.

Parker was slumped forward, arms hugging her knees and chin not quite resting on top since it hurt still. She looked as if the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. Beside her, Eliot was sat in a similar position, wishing he could just make this easier on everybody and knowing he couldn't. If it had been him and Parker that got together instead of Hardison and Parker, maybe it would've been easier. If nothing else, they had learnt to communicate in their own way over the years. Parker didn't seem to fear telling Eliot anything, and his feelings weren't half so easy to hurt as Hardison's own. Of course, thinking about himself with his buddy's woman made Eliot feel increasingly guilty and so he shook the thoughts from his mind fast.

"Hardison would be so much easier to dump if he was a bad guy," Parker considered.

"One bad guy per team is enough," answered Eliot like a reflex, especially given where his mind had just been wandering to.

Parker's laughter at that was a little too surprising. The way she stopped sharply when she realised Eliot wasn't joking came as a similar shock.

"You still believe that?" she checked, apparently incredulous at the very idea. "That's crazy! Like, crazier than me!" she insisted when Eliot turned his face away. "Eliot, you're not a bad guy. If you were, you wouldn't be sitting here now with me, making sure I'm okay, even though I know I'm screwing everything up. We all did bad things before, and even now," she reminded him, trying to get his attention but he wouldn't look at her yet. "And I know my bad things and your bad things are different," she continued, wincing herself especially when she saw him do the same. "That doesn't matter to people like us, because... we're us," she badly paraphrased what he once told her inside the mountain that had come to mind a few moments before. "I couldn't ever hate you, Eliot. I don't think it's actually possible, so... so please don't plan on leaving or anything, okay? Because I can't handle that right now."

Eliot was surprised by her words, and doubly shocked when he looked back at her then and saw how close she was to tears. Parker didn't get emotional much, not unless it really mattered. It never really occurred to him that _he_ mattered to her, not this much.

"I'm not goin' anywhere, sweetheart," he promised her then with a sad sort of a half-smile. "Honestly? I thought about it. After San Lorenzo, I really did, but... well, you'd only go out and get yourself killed if I wasn't here to watch your back, right?" he smirked then.

A burst of laughter escaped Parker's lips at the same time one lone tear streaked down her cheek. She wiped said tear away fast and sniffed a little. As long as Eliot was around, she could deal with almost anything, even dumping Hardison and maybe ruining things with the rest of the team. With one last sigh that wasn't nearly so sad as those that came before, Parker leant her head against Eliot's shoulder, and just enjoyed the view a little while longer. It was all going to be okay.

_To Be Continued..._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Loving all the love this fic is getting - thanks to all the wonderful reviewers! :) Now, on we go to the final part of The Lonely Hearts Job...**

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 4

Eliot wanted to blame concussion for his stupid decision. Unfortunately, he knew best of anyone that he had come out of his latest fight completely free of a head injury. There was no excuse for not thinking through what he had done here, except he was just being very dumb today.

It had seemed like a nice idea. After a job that was entirely based around love, dating, seduction, it really ought to occur to Hardison and even more so Nate to do something sweet and romantic for their girlfriends. Clearly it had not, and Eliot had decided to step in at the last. He ordered roses for Sophie, the traditional gift of love, and yet knew such a thing would never impress Parker. She never did see the point of flowers or plants and so Eliot went out of his way to select something she would appreciate, a plant with a purpose. The Venus Fly Trap was perfect, since it would eat any bothersome bugs. Parker would love it, he knew that, long before she opened the box and smiled a wide and giddy smile.

The two women on his team were thrilled. Sophie turned to Nate and gave him a long kiss, thanking him profusely for being so sweet. Parker's smile wavered when Hardison told her she was welcome for her gift before she ever got as far as thanking him. That was the moment Eliot got up and decided walking away was a good plan. Parker was way too smart for her own good, somehow she knew. She figured out that Hardison didn't know her well enough, would never have been thoughtful enough for such a gift. She knew that much already and it was only a few moments more before...

"Eliot!" she called his name and the hitter winced as he stopped walking all of two steps from his bar stool.

"What?" he asked, trying to keep expression neutral as he turned to look back at her.

There was a smile on her lips as she hopped down from her own seat and came hurrying around the bar towards him.

"Thank you," she said, all sweetness and light as she leaned in fast as anything, planting the briefest peck on his cheek. "I love it," she said of the plant she still had grasped by the pot in both hands.

Eliot tried not to look at the others and it honestly didn't come that hard. The genuine smile on Parker's lips was hypnotic and he was glad to have pleased her. It would've helped if he hadn't just made things ten times worse for Hardison by comparison. The hacker's eyes were on him, Eliot knew, and the expression he wore wasn't happy either. Not that there was much he could do about that right now.

"You're welcome," he forced out, before turning and striding away.

Eliot vaguely heard Sophie asking Nate if he really did buy her roses after all. That was not going to end well either, but Sophie and Nate were at least grown ups, even if they didn't always behave that way. His letting her believe he was the gift-giver wouldn't be that big a deal, he'd talk his way out of it, no problem. The real issue was Parker and Hardison, and Eliot didn't want to be there when the explosion that had been impending for the past few days finally happened.

"Okay, so I didn't actually buy the plant," said Hardison as Parker returned to her seat beside him, trying to ignore the bickering that had started up between the mastermind and grifter two seats over. "But, y'know, I would've. I wanna make you happy, mama, you know that, I just..."

"Well, you don't!" she yelled at him suddenly, wishing the words unsaid a second later.

Parker kept her eyes on her plant and clamped one hand right over her mouth for fear of a further unplanned outburst. She wasn't doing this right, she wasn't handling it well at all.

Eliot had walked away and Nate had chased Sophie out of the front door, so she and Hardison were alone, more or less. There were other people in the bar but that couldn't really be helped. The job was over now and Parker knew she had to do this, she had to tell Hardison the truth. She needed tact and kindness but such things were not natural traits for her. She didn't know how to handle a break up any more than she could handle the relationship itself. At least this part was supposed to be short. She remembered what Eliot said about ripping off the band aid and getting it over with, about being honest. Still, she doubted he meant for her to be cruel, not to Hardison.

"I... I don't make you happy?" the hacker asked carefully, so much sadness in his tone, Parker could hardly bear to look at him and see that emotion in his expression too.

"It's not your fault," she swallowed hard. "Maybe it's my fault, or it could be that it's nobodies fault exactly," she frowned, finding that even after so many days of deep thought she still couldn't verbalise this very well.

"No. No, it probably is my fault," said Hardison, reaching to pick up her hand in his own. "Parker, I'm sorry. I probably haven't handled things so well, I..."

"No," she pulled her hand free and folded her arms so he couldn't do that again. "I can't... I can't be this girlfriend that you want me to be."

"Parker, you're already everything I want you to be," he tried to tell her but she shook her head because she couldn't agree, she couldn't believe that.

"I'm not, Hardison, and I don't want to be," she admitted, feeling stupidly emotional and hating every second of it. "I'm not meant to be your girlfriend, I'm just... I'm meant to be Parker," she tried her best to explain. "That's not your fault, but trying to make us work when we don't, that's both our faults."

Hardison didn't understand, she was sure he couldn't, because Parker wasn't even sure she understood herself anymore. It was so hard to put into words all that she was feeling. She managed to get the point across when she told Eliot, but that was different. She didn't have to fear what his reaction would be or be concerned that he wouldn't understand her. Eliot never misunderstood. Sometimes he thought she was crazy to the point of unhinged, but he always understood. Hardison struggled and that was the point. He couldn't wrap his head around all of her quirks and Parker refused to let herself be changed, however good his intentions might be in altering her crazy ways.

"Okay," he said slowly then, eyes closed and hand to his head moment like this whole thing was giving him a headache. "So, er... this is all 'cause I didn't buy you a plant?"

"No!" Parker reacted loudly and with frustration, the surprise of which almost knocked Hardison clean off his stool. "This is something that I've known for days now, but I didn't know how to tell you," she told him honestly. "I like you, Hardison, a lot, and I love that we're friends and that you care about me, but I didn't wish for you."

"You didn't... wish?" he tried his very hardest to make sense of what she was telling him but it just wasn't coming. "Like, I'm not Prince Charming enough for you?"

"You're not what I wish for when you're not there," she tried again. "Like, with Mattingley? It was so much fun, and it shouldn't've been, because I should've wished you were there, but I didn't," she confessed.

Starting from the beginning seemed like a good plan right now. Honestly, this wasn't the absolute start of when she began having doubts about her relationship with Hardison but it was the tipping point, the straw that broke the camel's back perhaps. She left out the part where she had wished for Eliot instead of her so-called boyfriend. Somehow even Parker knew that would just make everything worse.

"Okay," said Hardison eventually. "But y'know, girl, we don't have to want to spend every minute together. I'll be honest, I wanna spend a lot o' time with you, but sometimes, I like to kick back alone, or with my buddies in my World of Warcraft..."

"You're not getting it!" she said with frustration, slamming her hands down hard on the bar top.

Parker wanted to scream, right at the top of her lungs. She just couldn't handle this. She wanted to end this relationship and she wanted Hardison to understand her reasons but he just wasn't getting it. Eliot's words played over and over in her head - be honest, rip off the band aid. She was up on her feet in a second, closing her eyes and just letting it all spill out of her in one go, whether Hardison liked it or not.

"I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. I don't want your gifts or to take trips with you. I'm tired of pretzels, and I need to not be with you anymore!"

Hardison could hardly take in the words and certainly hadn't been given time to digest them before Parker grabbed up her plant and ran. He was grateful for the fact she went for the back of the bar and the stairs, rather than the front door. It meant he could gather his thoughts and go after her at least. That was when he'd had a moment to think, to swallow down the lump in his throat and the pain in his heart.

Parker wasn't thinking at all, just running. She was up the stairs to the apartment in a flash, almost knocking Eliot over as she cleared the door. He was clearly on his way out, trying to escape another awkward situation. Nate and Sophie must've circled around and back inside to the apartment, still bickering over his so-called betrayal. Parker didn't hear a word. She couldn't even meet Eliot's eyes and he knew she had done what she had to with Hardison. If the tears welling in her eyes were anything to go by, it had been exactly the train-wreck he was expecting.

"You okay, Parker?" he asked, getting in her way when she tried to rush past him, still carrying the plant he had bought for her.

"No," she admitted immediately. "Really not okay. You were right, the truth does hurt, and not just the person you're telling it to," she sighed, desperate not to let her emotions get the better of her.

Eliot didn't know what to say. It wasn't as if words were exactly his strong point at any time, but a relationship councillor he definitely was not. Parker and Hardison were both his friends, his family even. Getting in the middle of their relationship was a bad plan, but to leave them to their pain without at least trying to assist seemed worse somehow. He winced as a door slammed and then opened again. Sophie rushed through and up the spiral staircase with Nate on her heels. Their fight was still ongoing and not conducive to what Parker and Hardison were going through. Eliot took the little thief gently by the arm and pulled her out into the hallway, closing the apartment door behind them both.

"He didn't take it well, huh?" he asked pointlessly.

Parker snorted incredulously at his understatement, wiped away a tear before it really had a chance to fall.

"He wouldn't listen. It's like he didn't want to understand," she huffed, sitting down with her back against the wall and her plant propped between her legs.

"Maybe that's exactly what his problem is," Eliot considered, sliding down the wall to join her. "He probably doesn't wanna understand, because that would mean it's all over."

"But it's still over, even if he doesn't want it to be. It just is," she declared firmly, fingers running over the leaves of her fly trap, eyes focused solely on the plant and nothing else. "I just wish we were still like we used to be, just friends and not complicated," she sighed heavily.

Eliot watched her playing with the plant, risking her pointer finger in the 'mouth' of it. That was Parker, the risk taker. His brain automatically added 'heart breaker' as the phrase went, and it certainly applied right now. Hardison was most definitely going to be heart broken since Parker told him it was over. Despite it being what she wanted, Eliot was pretty sure she wasn't feeling any much better herself.

"Sweetheart," he sighed, putting an arm around her shoulders, "it's always complicated," he sympathised, as her head dropped onto his shoulder.

There was no right thing to say or good choice to make here. Eliot knew from the second Parker told him she had to break up with Hardison that this team was going to fall into some unholy mess. Maybe he wasn't helping by comforting Parker like this. After all, it wasn't so many days ago she bust in on him in the bathroom when he was barely out of the shower and declared she had wished he was there on her adventure with Mattingley. She admitted to wishing he was around whenever he was absent, but never really missing Hardison. Sure, she made it clear that she had no real desire to be anybody's girlfriend after all, but Eliot realised too late that maybe he should be wary. The elevator doors slid open with a ping, and suddenly there was Hardison, looking right at his girlfriend sat on the floor with another guy's arm around her. Eliot knew that looked bad, even if there was usually a lot of trust between team-mates. Things were never as clear or straight-forward when emotions were boiling over. Hardison was unlikely to see this act of simple comfort as anything like innocent.

"Hey, man," said Eliot as he pulled his arm away from Parker and shifted as if to stand.

"So this is how it is, huh?" the hacker said crossly. "She dump me and runs straight into your muscular arms? That how it works, Eliot?"

"You're delusional," the hitter told him, determined to remember that his friend was only lashing out because he was hurting right now. "Man, I know this is a rough time for you, you're not thinkin' about what you're sayin', so I'm not gonna react to that..."

"Oh, you not gonna react?" Hardison interrupted, folding his arms across his chest to match Eliot's own stance.

"Guys, please. Don't fight," said Parker, scrambling to her feet and trying to intervene.

Hardison's eyes didn't leave Eliot's own. Gazes locked and postures definitely on the wrong side of the 'let's hit each other' line, Parker did not like this at all, especially since she knew it was only occurring because of her.

"Walk away, Hardison," said Eliot in a low voice. "Walk away and go calm down, because believe me, brother, you do _not_ wanna take this out on me."

"Is that right?" asked his friend with a look.

The next second Hardison's arm moved back, his fist flying suddenly forward. Eliot saw it coming, catching said fist in his hand and twisting Hardison around. The hacker's arm was up his back before he had a chance to think, and Parker's shouts of panic brought Nate and Sophie running. They found Hardison pinned to the wall by Eliot, struggling to get free, and yelling abuse. Immediately, the mastermind tried to break it up and find out what the hell was happening. Sophie's eyes went to Parker, catching sight of tears on her cheeks before she bolted from the scene.

"Oh, this is not good!"

_To Be Continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Time for Mom & Dad to try and fix the rift between the kids. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin...**

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 5

There was no way Nate was ever going to be strong enough to actually remove Eliot from Hardison when he had the hacker pinned against the wall. Thankfully he did know the right words to say to calm the situation. He spoke of how they were being ridiculous, and that they were only going to end up making matters worse, especially for Parker. That seemed to bring them both out of their red haze of anger. If there was one thing Hardison and Eliot would always agree on, it was looking out for their girl.

Sophie had very quickly assessed the situation the moment she and Nate came across it. Parker practically crying, Eliot hurting Hardison. There were only two explanations and one was so much more likely than the other. Hitter and hacker did not turn on each other this badly, they just never did. The fight had to be over Parker, and Sophie was not willing to believe Hardison had done anything to actually hurt her. Eliot had bought Parker the plant, same as he had bought her roses, only Nate wasn't naive enough to think the hitter was after Sophie. He was just trying to do a nice thing, maybe even patch up the relationships between his friends. It hadn't worked. Parker knew Eliot too well, and it seemed she was no longer willing to play pretend with Hardison.

It was all make believe, and as time wore on it had become more and more obvious to Sophie. Hardions's love was real enough, his heart was true, but he and Parker just couldn't ever work out in the long run. They were too different and whilst opposites attracted, keeping them together was that much more difficult. It wasn't really Hardion's fault any more than it was Parker's own. He wanted to be with his crazy little thief but his plans were to rehabilitate her, to normalise her perhaps. There were merits to helping Parker become somewhat more socially aware and acceptable in company, Sophie helped with that herself, but there was such a thing as too much of a good thing. She suspected that was what was starting to happen.

"Hardison, come on," she urged him, grabbing at his arm.

His eyes were fixed on Eliot who was being encouraged into the elevator by Nate. Angry gazes on both the guys, they wouldn't back down until the doors of the elevator closed between them. Sophie gave Hardison's arm another tug.

"Come inside, come and talk to me," she said a little more forcefully.

This needed dealing with and there was no way in hell the three youngest in their team would manage it alone. Sophie wasn't sure how much she and Nate were going to be able to assist yet, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to try her hardest. She came back to this team because it was her family, the place she truly belonged. Sophie was not prepared to let the whole thing fall apart now.

It wasn't difficult to imagine how Hardison was feeling. Dumped and betrayed, that was pretty basic and normal. Parker would be feeling bad for upsetting the balance, she supposed, and Eliot was just mad that he couldn't keep everyone safe and happy in this, as was his job, his reason for being here. The unknown quantity was what, if anything, was happening with Eliot and Parker.

Sophie knew there was a bond there, something special too. She would think they were more like brother and sister than anything, but that just wasn't accurate. There was a different kind of interest in Eliot's eyes sometimes, and Parker would say things, her strange off the cuff remarks and non-sequitars. Some of them were starting to sound more and more significant, especially when Sophie put them in the context of today's events.

"I can't believe she would do this!" said Hardison loudly, slamming his hand on the counter top as he stormed through the apartment. "She wouldn't do this! Parker... she ain't that girl. This is all him, all of it!"

Sophie watched from over by the now closed door, waiting for him to stop for breath.

"I understand you're upset, Hardison," she said kindly. "But honestly, you can't believe these things you're saying. Parker has her own mind, and in any case Eliot would never..."

"Ha!" he interrupted her with scoff of laughter. "Yeah, you'd like to think so. Y'know I call him bro, I thought he knew how much I meant that, but no. No, not Eliot Spencer. Like he don't have enough chicks in his life already!"

Sophie resisted the eye roll that wanted to take over her face. It wasn't fair, even if Hardison was being overly dramatic. She didn't believe for a moment that Eliot or Parker would cheat on Hardison with each other. That was not the nature of the relationship within their team. They all loved each other, whether they spoke of it or not. Eliot and Hardison were as much brothers as any two men Sophie ever knew, and Parker meant the world to the both of them. This whole ridiculous situation needed bringing back to reality and sorting out like adults.

"Okay, first of all," she said firmly as she walked across the space between them. "We are women, not chicks or babes or any other quaint American slang term for females," she said, not quite angry but a little put out certainly. "Secondly, I refuse to believe that Eliot would make any kind of move on Parker when he knows the two of you are together," she said firmly, coming to stand by the teams workstation.

Hardison was sat on the stool, hunched over, idly spinning pictures around on the screen embedded in the table top.

"Yeah, well," he grumbled. "We ain't together no more since she dumped my ass!" he said crossly, harshly.

Anger to cover pain, it was a normal base reaction for both sexes in such a situation. Sophie couldn't blame him. Being dumped like that hurt his pride. As awful as it sounded, even in Sophie's own head, it probably hurt him more to be dumped by Parker than anyone. She was the novice at dating, and therefore should be that much more easily kept in the girlfriend role. Hardison couldn't even keep her happy. He felt like a failure in so many ways and that was not something the genius hacker was used to.

"You think you're the first person to get dumped," she smiled kindly, her hand at his shoulder. "Hardison, it happens, and sometimes later people reconsider and get back together, and sometimes they don't, but it's really not fair to take it out on anyone else."

"That'd be true if it weren't nobody else's fault," he agreed, eyes flashing angrily. "Soph, she dumped me, I followed her up here, and she was sittin' there all cosy with Eliot..."

"Because he was probably being a friend, a brother even, but he was not making a move on Parker!" she said definitely. "I know Eliot's reputation with the ladies, of course I do, we all do, but he would not do that. Not to you, you know he bloody wouldn't!"

It was making her angry when she didn't mean to be. Sophie could cover all kinds of emotions when she was grifting, but with these people, when things were so real and raw, she had to be herself and let out what she was really feeling. They deserved nothing less than the whole truth from her.

"I know," Hardison nodded then, rubbing a hand over his face, before turning wide tear-filled eyes to Sophie. "I know that, but if I don't blame Eliot then I gotta blame Parker. I gotta accept that she dumped me 'cause... 'cause she just don't love me."

"Oh, sweetie," Sophie sighed as she moved to hug him.

Hardison grabbed onto her like a little boy crying to his mother. It hurt, it really did, to know that he wasn't what Parker wanted and all attempts to make her happy had failed. He cried because he knew she was right, that they weren't right together, he just hadn't wanted to accept it until she made him. Hardison knew he was going to love that girl forever, and yet he didn't really deserve her and couldn't be what she wanted or needed. That was hurt most of all, and it really was nobody's fault.

* * *

"Here," said Nate as he returned to the back room of the bar and handed Eliot a bottle of beer.

"Thanks," he grunted in reply, though he didn't drink, just held the bottle on the table, turning it around and around between his hands.

Nate wasn't really sure what he was going to say next. He hadn't got this far with his son, to the point of girls and relationships, and he'd never had a younger brother or anything. His own father didn't exactly impart much wisdom about women, and Nate's own track record was bumpy at best - one ex-wife, and one Sophie Devereaux. In point of fact, the man with all the knowledge of women was Eliot himself, and yet he seemed to have gotten himself into a real mess, right smack dab in the middle of another guys relationship, with a woman they all loved in their own ways. Knowing where to start did not come easy, even for a mastermind.

"So, you wanna tell me what happened up there?" he asked, sipping on his scotch.

Eliot rolled his eyes and shifted to lean back in his chair, like a stroppy teen.

"No, _Dad_, I really don't," he said sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest.

"Well, I may not be quite old enough to be your father, Eliot, and most of the time I have no reason to try and act that way, but right now you three are messing with the dynamic of this team," said Nate, leaning across the table towards him, full force fatherly tone in play. "For as long as you and Hardison and Parker choose to behave like children, then yeah, me and Sophie are going to treat you like children," he said firmly. "Now, do you wanna tell me what happened up there?"

Eliot let out a low growl and nothing else. He knew this was going to happen. He was only trying to help out with Parker and Hardison, something he had vowed from the beginning not to do. Now he had and everything was getting blown to hell, to the point where he was being talked down to by a man that couldn't hold his liquor a not small part of the time and certainly hadn't got even a fraction of the experience with women that Eliot himself had. Still, if there was a way to fix all this, Nate probably had it.

"It was a few days ago," he sighed, looking everywhere but at the mastermind across the table. "Parker got all freaked after that job she pulled with Mattingley. She decided that her and Hardison weren't working out. She came and asked me how a person dumped another person with the least amount of fall out," he admitted, grabbing for his beer then and taking a long swig.

"Okay," Nate nodded as he considered what he'd been told so far. "This was before the job we just pulled?"

"Yeah," Eliot agreed with a solemn nod. "Believe it or not, Parker was thoughtful enough not to dump the guy in the middle of a con and ruin one of your fantastic plans," he said, with an edge of sarcasm to his words. "Apparently she couldn't wait too much longer than job's end," he laughed awkwardly.

Nate opened his mouth to speak then but closed it again fast, sipping his drink thoughtfully. The gifts Eliot bought, the flowers for Sophie and the plant for Parker, that would've been a nice thought on any normal day. Obviously the girls were supposed to think their boyfriends were being kind and sweet, a great idea, except for the fact Eliot apparently knew that Parker was on the verge of dumping Hardison already. The hacker was a good guy, no doubt, but thoughtful enough for this particular gift? No, not really. That was pure Eliot, and the hitter ought to have known what trouble it would cause. He'd deny it of course, even to himself, but subconsciously, Nate had an idea the sabotage was quite deliberate.

"So, Parker dumped Hardison, I assume after the rest of us left the bar," said the mastermind eventually, looking to Eliot for the rest of the story.

"I left the apartment just as Parker came up in the elevator," he explained, rolling his eyes at this stupid game they were apparently playing. "She was upset, she never wanted to hurt Hardison, she ain't that girl."

"I know," agreed Nate easily.

Sure, Parker said some dumb and thoughtless things at times, but she wasn't malicious. She would have hated knowing she was hurting Hardison but she also couldn't keep up the pretence of being happy in a relationship that didn't work for her. Of course she would be upset, and Eliot would act as her guardian and protect just as he always did.

"When Hardison came up and found you two..." Nate prompted once again.

"Yeah, I had my arm around her," Eliot confessed without pause, sitting up straight in his seat looking mad. "Parker was crying, and I was being a friend. What was I suppose to do, walk away and leave her sobbing in the stairwell? Yeah, that'd make me a real swell guy," he said, getting up from his chair so fast he nearly knocked the seat flying.

Nate stared at Eliot's back when he turned away and drank down much of his beer. Oh, this was going to be so much messier than he thought. Whilst Parker and Hardison's break up might be something they could all move forward from in time, the unspoken something between Parker and Eliot was going to be a whole other ballgame. Sure, he believed nothing had happened yet, but Nate had a feeling it would only be a matter of time. Question was how he held this team together through the odd love triangle and transitioning relationships.

Nate downed the last of his drink and headed to the bar to fetch another. He might need several more yet if he was going to get through this situation and still be sane!

_To Be Continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm not so sure this chapter is going to be what you folks were expecting, but it is what it is and I do hope you like it :)**

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 6

This was not an ideal situation. Both Nate and Sophie were thinking the self-same thing as they looked across the apartment/office and met each other's eyes. It was less than a week since Parker dumped Hardison, and Eliot had got caught up in the middle of the break-up tornado. Over those few days, the grifter and the mastermind not involved in the mess tried to approach each of the younger members of their team in turn and build some bridges. It was next to impossible to expect Hardison, Eliot, and Parker to get along after so short a time, but clients lives and problems waited for no man, or woman, and Nate was determined his team was not going to fall apart over this. Sophie had a little more compassion for the parties involved, but at the same time, she knew the importance of their working together. She knew that they all knew it too. It was why they agreed to bury the hatchet and work together on the latest job that came up, even though they would prefer not to have to see each other right now.

Hardison had taken a little more persuasion than Parker or Eliot to come back and be a team player so soon. Of course, out of all three he was probably hurting the most, at least in the dented pride stakes. Nate had convinced Eliot not to let Hardison get to him, to think of the greater good of the work the team did. Sophie had caught up with Parker and assured her that nobody was mad at her. Hardison was hurt about being dumped, but he would work through that in time, and in the meantime, everybody just had to try and find a way to co-exist. The hacker himself had been far too upset to listen to reason at first. Nate tried to be understanding, but it wasn't really easy. He saw the big picture, the people Team Leverage helped and the good they did. Petty squabbles and fall-outs amongst 'the kids' didn't mean so much to him. Going in as united front with Sophie helped; she was encouraging and kind whilst Nate played bad cop and questioned Hardison's ability to perform at his best under pressure. Eventually, the mastermind realised just exactly what incentive was needed to get Hardison 'back in the saddle' as it were - he offered to let him run the next job.

So here they were, the usual team of five. Four of them were sat along by the counter in front of the vid screen, whilst Hardison laid out how things were going to 'go down'. It wasn't so bad, though there had been a squabble when they first came in. Parker wouldn't sit near Hardison's desk or directly in his eye line. Eliot knew he ought to stay away from the both of them, and Nate had to agree, though orchestrating a seating plan seemed to become a nightmare. Eventually, Sophie took charge and arranged them all with no more fuss.

"So, basically the whole thing is gonna work like a video game..." said Hardison with conviction, though as he looked at his team, his eyes were focused more on Nate and Sophie than anyone.

Looking at Eliot made him angry and meeting Parker's eyes might make him cry yet. The hacker knew neither reaction was any good to him right now. He was running this crew, for one job only, and he had to prove he had those skills he always told Nate were there in him. The pressure of working through his pain and anguish over the break-up ought to make it harder, but honestly, concentrating on anything that wasn't his girlfriend dumping him, that was a plus for Hardison. He laid out his plan and was glad when nobody argued with him, save for Sophie asking if it wasn't all a little complex. Hardison was sure he was right on this. The con needed to be bigger, more involved. Nate with his simple, old-fashioned schemes was all well and good, but Hardison was planning heists for a new generation. This was the age of the geek, and he was going to prove it, not just to his leader and his team as a whole, but to the girl who dumped him for not being enough, and the guy that seemed to want to steal her away. Hardison would show Eliot and Parker both that he was better than either of them could ever deserve. At least, that was his plan.

* * *

There were holes in the plan. Hardison didn't see it, and Eliot didn't feel like telling him. At first the hitter had been mad as hell at his hacker friend for accusing him of trying to steal Parker from him. He would never, ever do that, not to Hardison or to Parker, it just wouldn't be right. Eliot's team were his family now and all he really had in the world that mattered. Screwing them over just wasn't an option. The way they accepted him back after Moreau... there was just no way he would hurt any of them on purpose, now more than ever.

Most of what Eliot felt for Hardison after he calmed the hell down was pity. Getting dumped wasn't fun, and despite what people thought about his reputation with girls, Eliot had been dumped before now. Besides, this wasn't just any chick that had kicked Hardison to the kerb, this was Parker. Losing her after spending so long trying to get her, that had to be breaking the hacker's heart. Eliot felt bad for him, of course he did, but at the same time, he felt bad for Parker. She never meant to cause any of this, he believed that absolutely and completely. She was actually trying to make things better, time after time. She just messed up occasionally. Dumping Hardison wasn't the real problem, the issue had been Parker's agreeing to date him in the first place. Eliot could see from the start how it was going to blow up in all their faces, but it was not his place to say. He let the thing runs its course, and now here they were, awkward and snippy, one and all.

It was part way into the job. Hardison was with Nate, explaining his latest, greatest tactics, whilst in their ears they all heard Sophie hooking the marks, Mr & Miss Gold Grabber 2012. Eliot and Parker were alone together, sat in the back of the van with the doors wide open as they munched down on doughnuts. Eliot realised too late that the sweet treat he was eating had a bite mark in it, just the same as every other doughnut in the large box.

"Did you try all of these before you picked one out?" he asked Parker, his tone not half so harsh as it might usually be.

"How else do I know which one I want?" she asked, around a mouthful, before swallowing it down hard. "It's impossible to pick out of choices if you haven't tried them all first."

There was a look on her face when she said it that Eliot didn't like. It could be he was reading too much into it, but he'd seen that look before. Parker looked at safes that way, when they were tough to crack but she itched to try. That could not be a good thing. Eliot made a gesture near his ear and pulled out his own ear bud, waiting a beat until Parker caught on and did the same.

"What's in your head, Parker?" he asked her straight out.

She knew it was a big deal that he asked that question. Usually, Parker let whatever she was thinking spill out of her mouth unfiltered, but she had learnt to be wary of late, especially where guys and relationships were concerned. She had screwed up so badly with Hardison, she couldn't let that happen with Eliot. At the same time, she had got to wondering if maybe she should have chosen him in the first place. Not that anyone really presented her with the choice to make. Hardison made it plain he liked her a lot and was there, ready to be her boyfriend, if she wanted. Eliot never did that, though he was nice to her and he obviously cared.

Eliot was different with the women he dated. Mostly, it seemed to be about sex and little else, but those that had lasted longer than a weekend, that had met the team and all, Parker remembered each one with a frown. She never liked when Eliot seemed to want to stick with a woman, even if it was only for a week or so. She never wondered what that meant until now, until she came to realise that Hardison's absence never bothered her like Eliot's did.

"If I wasn't around, would you miss me?" she asked him.

Eliot frowned. Neither answer to that question was going to come out right unless he trod very carefully. To say no was a lie, and one that would hurt her, but to say yes, she could easily take that all out of context. Eliot cleared his throat, ran his hand back through his hair.

"Damnit, Parker, what kind of question is that?" he asked, growling in frustration.

"The one in my head," she replied smartly. "Which is what you asked for."

Sometimes she was just too damn smart for her own good.

"If any person from this team left, I'd miss 'em," he shrugged then. "When Sophie cut out for a while, we missed her, right?"

"Yeah, but..." Parker began, only to be interrupted when Nate appeared.

"What are you two doing?" he asked suspiciously, looking from their faces to the earbuds in their hands.

"Nothin'," said Eliot, shoving the comm-link back into his ear and moving further into the van out of sight.

He was muttering as if to talk to Sophie, but Nate heard the generic 'hurry up' type sentiments and knew it wasn't what he really wanted to say. The guilty look on Parker's face spoke volumes too, but now just wasn't the time.

* * *

Hardison's attitude didn't matter to Eliot. He had enough temper of his own, anybody elses looked paltry by comparison. The hacker could pout, whine, and be an ass, and the hitter would let him be; he _did_ let him be, until things got ugly.

The next stage of the ever-complicated job involved him and Nate being down in the tunnels under the city, digging for gold that the team themselves had put there. That was fine, Eliot wasn't afraid of the dark, small spaces, or anything like that. He knew his crew had his back, it was fine, until Hardison started changing things around.

"Surely it makes more sense for Nate to be the one in the supposedly fatal accident," said Sophie when the conversation arose, casting an apologetic look towards her boyfriend for the insensitive phrasing. "Eliot's character would be more easily bought off by the marks..."

"Hey, who is running this job?" asked the hacker too crossly.

"And what happened to listening to the ideas of others?" the grifter challenged, using words Hardison himself had spoken before - it did no good.

"He wants me to do it, fine," Eliot growled. "Let's just get the damn thing done."

It was all fine whilst things were going according to the plan. It was after the fake rock fall and water going everywhere that Eliot realised Hardison was playing him. While up above them at ground level, Nate cut a new deal with Tommy and Barbar Madsen, Eliot found he was completely trapped inside the wet, filthy hole in the ground where he had been 'digging for gold'.

"Hardison! Open the damn door!" he yelled pointlessly, since even a whisper would be transmitted easily through the earbud he wore.

"I'm sorry, what? You want me to help you out with somethin'?" asked the hacker.

Eliot growled low in his throat, lips twitching with anger and frustration. He knew that tone Hardison was using, it was a very distinctive tone. Apparently the hitter hoping they could all be grown up and sensible, at least whilst they were on the job, was too much to ask. Hardison was going to be a child about this, over something that hadn't even damn well happened. Eliot was determined not to rise to it, no matter how much he was tempted.

"Hardison, open the door and let me out of this damn hole," he ground out. "I want out, now!"

"Yeah, well. We don't always get we want in life, huh?" said the hacker, leant back in his chair with a scowl on his face.

"Hardison, stop this!" said Sophie beside him then. "You're not helping anyone."

He knew she was right, but it was nice to have a little power here, to put Eliot in a position where he was upset and angry. Not that it took so very much to bring the hitter to fury, but for once Hardison liked being the cause of it. He had listened to what Nate and Sophie had said about Eliot never wanting to screw Hardison over, especially in his relationship with Parker. Hardison didn't want to believe his bro was capable of such a thing, but somehow it was just easier to blame a third party and not the girl he gave his heart to only to have it get smushed.

"Hardison, don't!" the very girl in question said in his ear then. "This isn't funny."

That made him do it, made him sit up and pay attention. He released the locks on the doors Eliot was fighting with, the momentum of the sudden release almost knocking the hitter off his feet.

"No, it really ain't funny," said the hacker, pushing away from the desk and stalking away.

Sophie watched him go and sighed. She wished she could wave a magic wand and fix all of this, not that she was sure how to put the pieces back together even then. Parker and Hardison didn't work, she wondered if Parker and Eliot might, but it seemed someone was destined to get hurt no matter what. She hated that, just as much as those in the middle of the love triangle did, but there was nothing she could really do. She and Nate just had to stand on the side-lines and try to bring comfort and understanding where they could, all the time hoping things worked out. If they didn't it could signal the end for this team, for this family of misfits that had come to rely so much on each other. That just might break all their hearts in the end.

_To Be Continued..._


End file.
